Leaving the house is not easy when you have children. The boys are that little bit older now, so while i no longer need to worry about packing a giant bag with everything but the kitchen sink, I am sorry to say that as Ryan and Harry gain more independence, it somehow has become a lot harder.
Today we needed groceries, not much, just a few things to go with dinner. I got myself ready to leave but I could only find one of my shoes.. I looked for its partner and found two other thongs, which didn’t go with the one on my foot or with each other. I figured it would turn up as I got the boys dressed. which was a mission in itself, Harry was already clothed and shoed so I pulled out an outfit for Ryan, then proceeded to chase him around the house for ten minutes because he didn’t want to wear red shorts. Finally i wrangled him into them and dear little Harry called out in his sweet angel voice.
“Mummy, I’ve done a wee. it’s all over everything.”
When Harry said everything, he meant it. pants, shirt, shoes and floor were drenched. (I really do hate toilet training.)
I found Harry something new to wear and we had a big argument because he apparently (and i quote) “Loves to wear wee clothes to the shops.”
I just needed a quick trip to the bathroom myself and we’d be ready to roll. I was literally gone for a minute and a half.
“Hey Mum don’t come out here yet ok?” Harry called from the lounge room as he heard my footsteps approaching.
He had gotten a package of drinking straws out of the cupboard and scattered them everywhere.
A quick cleanup and we were finally ready to leave.
“I’m a big boy, I can walk I don’t need a pram.” Harry informed me.
Fair enough I thought, it’s only a five-minute walk. what can go wrong?
exactly one minute into the walk, Harry cried to be picked up.
“My legs don’t work! they are too tired! I’m only little!” he whined.
“I’m not picking either of you up, you’re both big boys.” I told them.
Then Ryan tripped over and grazed his knee, so I picked him up and carried him while Harry pulled on my shirt crying because it wasn’t fair. I felt a cool breeze on my chest and realised my left boob was hanging out because Harry had tugged on my shirt a little too hard. I mentally consoled myself with the fact that at least I was wearing a nice bra as I tucked it back in. while doing this i noticed that i was wearing odd shoes.
The shopping was smooth sailing as I loaded the boys into a trolley and grabbed what I needed as fast as possible, until we got to the checkout. Ryan climbed out of the trolley and I zoned out reading the trashy magazine headlines and when I turned I saw that he had helped himself to a packet of Tic Tacs. Since they were open and he was eating them I resigned myself to the fact that I’d have to buy them but I wasn’t about to let him know that.
“Ryan, that was naughty.” I scolded him.
“It’s ok Mum, they only cost about one dollar, don’t you have one dollar Mum?”
“No.” I answered as I begun to load my shopping up to be scanned.
“Excuse me.” I heard Ryan say and looked up to see him waving in the check out mans face.
“We have all this shopping and my Mum has no money, not even one dollar. What are we going to do?”
“Ryan shhhhh. Just get back in the trolley.” I said and apologised and assured the man I could indeed pay for my groceries.
Embarrassed, I put my head down only to be confronted once again with my mismatched shoes.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.